


Gone But Still Golden

by DancingRainx3



Category: Britney Spears (Musician), Britney Spears - Fandom, Marina & the Diamonds, Marina And The Diamonds - Fandom, Marina Diamandis - Fandom
Genre: Character Death, F/F, Friendship/Love, Gay Rights, Pop Culture, same love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-19
Updated: 2014-01-19
Packaged: 2017-12-24 00:16:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/932772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DancingRainx3/pseuds/DancingRainx3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the world famous Britney Spears passes away, her long term girlfriend Marina is left to suffer alone with heart ache while trying to take care of herself and avoid the media who no longer had a pop princess to stalk as easy as she was. Her family, the public, the media, the exes, her boys - how will they be able to overcome it? Can Marina survive without Britney by her side?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Good Mourning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [OIDIAproductions](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OIDIAproductions/gifts).



> Hello everyone! :) I hope you enjoy this piece I'm currently working on! I'm trying to write in second person and not sure how great it's going but I hope it's alright! This series is solely based off Cory Montieth's death and how Lea Michele is dealing, at least from what I see in it, but with characters I know how to write. Also, Same Love by Macklemore could be this story's theme song. ;) I really hope you enjoy it! <3  
> If you don't like reading about a gay couple and/or death, this story is not for you. + More chapters will be coming their way!

It was that instant shock and a reel of emotions that hit you once you heard the news. You didn't even face a person once the news had arrived to you. Instead, you where all alone in your room, sipping a glass of green tea before you hit the sheets and blissfully come to a new day. As you were about to set your cup down, the ringing of the hotel phone abruptly ended the wonderful silence you haven't heard in awhile. But as you inched closer to the ringing phone, you realize it was probably your beautiful girlfriend, Britney Spears, of finally two amazing years and a half, and a smile is plastered on your face.  
You've been expecting to hear from her yesterday, but you only had heard from her the morning before. She was a lot more corny than usual, and her sweet, southern accent wasn't as oblivious as it usually was. The tone of her gentle voice was also pretty giddy, as if she was having a lot of fun stuck at home alone. Her two kids, Sean and Jayden, who you have started also calling them your boys a little over a year now, were currently stuck at their biological father's house. His name was Kevin, and you weren't so fond of him. Neither was Britney of course, yet she still dealt with him only because she had to.  
Britney didn't manage to make it to the phone the other night though, or the other night, or the other night. The first night after the day you had left her to go on tour, Britney sobbed to you over Skype. It wasn't exactly because you had left or she didn't have her kids, but she kept crying that she didn't have a clue on what to do with herself. You tried to tell her to go out, catch up with old friends, go to parties, but Britney knew she couldn't have done that so easily.  
Once she wailed out that the paparazzi would only follow her that they wouldn't give her some air and she was tired of seeing their faces every single place she goes to, you felt broken. You let her know that whenever she needs you, to give you a call or a message on Skype and she'd fly right back home. However, the moment you said that, she cried even harder than before. The last thing she wanted was to ruin your so far most anticipated tour. She knew she wasn't worth it even though you thought she meant the entire universe to you.  
That particular night though, your wifi was disconnected from the hotel and you practically left Britney in tears. You tried all night to call her back and nothing would work in your favor. It terrified you, and since then you haven't gotten to Skype with Britney. Her gorgeous face was gone and the last time you got to see it was when she was shedding tears.  
After those few nights have passed, you received a call from Britney. You could tell she was drunk, and that worried you a little bit.  
"How did you get this way?" you would ask as seriously as you could and she'd hiccup a giggle.  
"I bought some bottles of some brands of alcohol at the store. I felt... lonely."  
Some bottles wasn't specific enough. Britney slyly purchased two of each kind she wanted. In total, the drinks costed her slightly over $400. You didn't know that though. You didn't ask how many as if it slipped your mind - or just wasn't in there at all to begin with.  
Her laughing hasn't came to a halt after saying those words. You felt better though, knowing she didn't go to a club, get drunk and have some man harassing her since she was left vulnerable. Britney, you could tell, wasn't even this drunk since the first night you both went to the club together as friends. It was odd, but you couldn't help find it a bit funny after you have been caught drunk by Britney on several occasions. You wish you were right there to lay near her and just possibly be drunk with her instead of your back-up dancers.  
"I'm right here for you." you giggle in return.  
"I don't wanna talk anymore." she burped out. The words instantly worry you, but she giggles again and you begin to believe she isn't know what she's saying. Of course she really doesn't, she's drunk.  
"I'll hang up then." You remember saying while laughing uncontrollably. You adored wasted Britney. It brought out a silly part of her you don't see everyday. She didn't laugh or giggle this time.  
"I love you." She mumbles, her words flew out with tiny stutters. You say it back and before you finished, Britney hung up. You're anxious, confused, and really hopeful that you didnt upset her. You doubt it however, reminding yourself time after time she's wasted off her mind and won't remember what she's doing in the morning. That's what kept telling yourself. Once you finally fell on top of the bed, your mind roamed on other things. Britney oddly didn't come up that night, not even in your dreams.  
Although now, at this moment while the phone is ringing though, you're eagerly hopping on both legs. You cannot wait to pour out your aching heart to her, wishing she was there on tour with you. When you pick up the phone though, it wasn't her soft voice. It was a deeper voice, a mans voice. You tried to greet him but you just couldn't, he interrupts you rapidly.  
"Marina Diamandis?"  
"Y-yes?" You titter, but a deep sigh came from the other end. It made you panic a bit at how disappointed you sound. You snatch the tea right off the table to chug it down before. The man on the other line sounded very familiar, but no bells were rung. You went along with it however, assuming it was a manager or someone to offer you a deal or some sort of promotion while hitting the stage around the world. It wasn't. You hear him speak and it was even deeper than before.  
"Britney Spears is dead."  
Choking on green tea that went down the wrong way, you don't feel the words completely. You didn't believe them. While you were gasping for breath, the man began to speak again.  
"We had a bizarre phone call from Smith's Hotel early hours in the morning. It was a woman sobbing and screaming, telling us Britney Spears had dangerously mixed all sorts of alcohol with different types of drugs. We still have no further information."  
Now you began to believe it and once it had fully comprehended the news, it hit you harder than an arrow to the face would have. The love of your life suddenly didn't exist at this moment, and wouldn't at any other moment. All of her fans no longer had an idol to look up to, no more new music to expect, no longer for any photo shoots that were included in magazines, candids Britney loathed seeing after they were taken, new tours, new albums, new videos, nothing. All of the people who constantly insulted her looks and bashed her talent would now be claiming they have always adored her. But you, you would never be able to have your lips feel Britney's, or the softness of her skin that lingered a strong scent or her perfume Curious. She always knew that was your favorite to smell on her. You couldn't make her laugh anymore, have pointless fights, bake together, hug each other, have adventures - nothing.  
Her father and mother would cry so hard, realizing they tried to trap her in their own environment to save her didn't help one bit, but only made it worse. Her siblings, Jamie Lynn and Bryan would be absolutely heartbroken without their loving sister around them and their children. Justin Timberlake - the first love of her life - would be broken and would never be able to tell her he was sorry. Neither would Kevin, Jason, Adnan, Sam, the paparazzi, Perez, nobody. All who had hurt your love in the past no longer had that time and now they would be torn apart. Even the last time you saw her, she was bawling. Oh, her boys though, this death would affect them most of all. No mommy to nurture them and support them along the way. All of their friends would tease them, sing her songs still. You knew they would be more than devastated.  
You were crushed though. Even at a moment like this when you were out of your mind sad, you would call up Britney and afterwards feel incredible to be alive. The light in her eyes gave you that sense of hope that you could make it through anything. But that sparkle was forever gone and there was absolutely nothing anybody could do that could fix it.  
"N-no!" you scream into the phone, wincing as the silence that used to be so relaxing transformed into something that now seemed so dark. "She can't be!"  
"I'm so sorry."  
"No! No, no, no this isn't true! She was my whole world! I can't lose her!"  
You couldn't help but repeat yourself over and over again, even once you hung up. While being in the corner of your hotel room sobbing your eyes out, images clouded your entire mind. Britney began to haunt your entire mind, your awakening thoughts, your deepest memories that you haven't reminisce before this moment. You couldn't breathe properly or at all. All you could yearn for was Britney to show up at your hotel and wrap you in a tight hold in her silky soft arms. You would lock your fingers into her tight, blonde curls and she would bite her lip after you tugged at it so roughly.  
No longer would that happen though. Britney Spears was passed away. Dead, gone, deceased. No matter what word you could think of, it only pained you more and you winced, because she was all of those things you have listed. The sweet nothing's would no longer would be in your ear, the tenderness officially had faded away once Britney died. That night you had fallen into a deep sleep in the corner of the hotel room, completely forgetting you had a plane to catch with your people early in the morning to start the day knowing your third show was just ahead of you.

*To Be Continued*


	2. Numbed

"Ouch! What the hell?" You snap viciously as your hand is crushed from the bottom of the door opening as well as your head is bonked harshly. You gasp and that makes the person intruding your sleep only barge in more. The crowd behind the door was your back-up dancers, and a group of intruding paparazzi followed behind them, trying to break into your hotel room. Speechless as ever, you can hear the manager of the hotel's voice threatening the paparazzi who had somehow passed up the stairs to your floor and nearly in your room. Reaching for the small table across from you and away from the door, you make it just in time to escape before the entrance was almost broken apart. Just at the right time, back-up had arrived and practically attacked the illegal actions the paparazzi were taking.   
Usually they never intrude, however after the hard-hitting news about the reigning queen of pop passing away, they had no longer the woman who seemed easy to stalk around the street. Like a normal lady, she would walk wherever she wanted and didn't give a care in the world what she had looked like. Sometimes, you knew Britney would wear the silliest things just to strike their attention, since it was mostly on her when she was trying to mind her own business anyways.  
You could hear them trying ask you questions about Britney as they went to push away your dancers still as the crowded around your room in a tight squeeze. Not bothering to watch them, you instead glance at the floor, hearing the ungrateful photographers swearing as they were being rushed away.  
"Marina," they try to speak in a calmer tone towards you. "how you feeling?"  
How did they really think you were feeling? Excited for the day to the day to begin? Ready Freddy as ever to sing your heart out on stage? Dance without shaking uncontrollably the way you weren't supposed to? The crowd, as your fans, would be aware your long-term girlfriend has passed away. Although it was a rumor to the public, it was absolutely true that you had earlier last week proposed to Britney and she sobbed out the words ’yes’. It was the most beautiful moment you've truly ever experience and by the tears in Britney's eyes, it must of been around her top 10 you could have guess. To see Britney in a jaw-dropping-to-the-ground-and-below bridal dress was everything you couldn't wait for. Now Britney is wearing a slim gown in heaven with a dangling halo slightly above her hair. You realized that Heaven was definitely in for a treat.  
“I feel numb.” Truly, that was all your mouth would spill out.  
"At least we have good news for you." says one of the dancers with a sly grin on her face. You didn't play along. Usually you would nudge them with your point elbow and grin back in the silliest way possible. If she was expecting you to do the same now, she was mistaken.  
"Your first leg of the tour is cancelled, so we can bring you straight home to the UK."  
Within seconds, you were bummed to miserable to furious. Not a single person had discussed your own tour with you over this decision. It was an outrage that you had people doing what they thought was best, not what you wanted. If anything, you believed the tour would help more to ease the pain off but instead, it was being cancelled within hours of notice that your girlfriend had died.  
"When did I tell them to cancel the da** tour? Did they announce it already to the public?"  
"Yes, about an hour ago."  
Losing all focus, you rush angrily out of the room. You couldn't stay here any longer, it was just all so horrifying to deal with. You wanted to go on that tour. Did they ever take a second moment on your behalf to really think of you? No, probably not. Too busy rejoicing about how they don't have to be busy every single night and deal with you and your yearnings and pathetic tears over Britney. They'll do it around next year, when you tour around the UK so you'd be over it by then. That's exactly what they were planning.  
Paparazzi are sprawled around the parking lot and as they see you dashing past, they follow you, darting questions at you and pinning them against your feelings roughly. You couldn't flee away quickly enough. Their eyes and cameras flashed at you every half a second, and you realize Britney went through this torture everyday. Even all of their questions revolved around Britney. They still couldn't get enough of her even when she was dead and gone.  
Within an hour, you lose the paparazzi by climbing in a taxi. Some followed you, but the driver knew who you were. He was sly enough to use tricky routes that the paparazzi couldn't catch up to. Traffic was terrible, yet the taxi didn't fail you. The man who was driving had the nerve to swerve around and park in an alley. "Where are you exactly heading?"  
"I wanna go somewhere far away." you answer, knowing the reply was so vague but that's where you wanted to be. He cocked his head at you while peeking in the mirror at you.  
"How does a road trip sound?"  
"Be my guest. Drop me off at a surprise destination, I don't care where I am."  
What you didn't know was the man who was driving you had the exactly right direction to head you in. With a smirk, he nodded calmly. "Alright."  
Before you knew it, your eyes had fluttered closed and the rest of your day was wasted away. It was odd, though, because you felt so empty yet your dreams were still fulfilled with the weirdest images. Britney was in every scene and moment of your dream and it ached your heart even when you were asleep. Even in your dreams, you still didn't have the chance to tell her goodbye.


End file.
